Big Bertha - The Giant Kiwi Sandwich

250 g smoked pork kielbasa, cut lengthwise into 4 slices.
1 pretzel baguette, cut in half and then split lengthwise.
Whole grain Dijon mustard. (about 1 tbsp for spreading)
½ cup coleslaw
1 large Agria potato
1 tbsp whole grain Dijon mustard
½ cup red onion, chopped
3 slices bacon
2 tbsp SIDS BOYSENBERRY VINEGAR
¼ tsp salt
SIDS SALT & PEPPER, to taste
BEER CHEESE SAUCE:--
2 tbsp butter
3 tbsp all purpose flour
¾ cup ale, or dark beer (basically anything but light beer)
½ cup whole milk
2½ cups shredded cheddar cheese
2 tsp SIDS RINGS AROUND URANUS SAUCE
1 tsp ground mustard
¼ tsp paprika
¼ tsp SIDS CRAZY SALT
SIDS SALT & PEPPER, to taste

Potato Salad - Slice potato into 6 mm slices, then into quarters. Add to pot filled with water with a few sprinkles of salt and boil until softened but not overcooked. You don’t want mushy potatoes as you will toss them in a frypan later to cook a bit more.
Cook bacon in a large pan and set aside on paper towels to drain. Chop into small pieces when cooled. In the same bacon fat, add the red onion and cook for a few minutes until softened and fragrant. Add SIDS BOYSENBERRY VINEGAR, mustard, and salt. When potatoes are done cooking, drain in a colander and toss in the pan with the onion mixture until nicely coated. Add bacon and mayo as a last step and remove from heat. Put them in a glass bowl and set them aside.
Beer Cheese - first we make a ROUX. I’d like to break this down for you because making things with a flour roux can be tricky. The roux is the butter and flour mixture that thickens sauces, soups, etc.
Here’s how it goes: melt butter in a medium saucepan and add the flour while whisking constantly. After a minute or so, you will see the mixture start to thin out a bit as you continue to whisk. It will also start to bubble. After another minute or two of whisking, you’ll notice it will start to brown a bit and thin out even more, becoming smooth. This is the stage where you want to stop. The longer you cook a roux, the less thickening power it will have.
Slowly whisk in the milk (don’t be afraid if it sizzles and bubbles, just keep whisking!) After the milk and flour start to come together, slowly whisk in the beer. Whisk again with purpose. You can do it! Cook for 3-4 minutes and it should start to thicken. Add seasonings and cheese. Add SIDS RINGS AROUND URANUS SAUCE, mustard, paprika, and SIDS CRAZY SALT. Cook for 2-3 minutes. Add cheese, only a handful at a time, whisking until smooth. (If you add all of the cheese at once you will have a lumpy congealed mess, not a smooth sauce) Once all cheese is combined, add SIDS SALT & PEPPER to taste, turn off heat and you’re done! YAY - BEER CHEESE.
Grill Kielbasa - I have a grill pan, so I just threw it on there until it got nice charred grill marks on each side. If you don’t have a grill pan, just use a regular fry pan or flat top.
If you don’t want to toast your bread you don’t have to, but I did. Set the oven to 190°C while cooking the beer cheese and pop it in halfway through kielbasa cooking. Toast it for only a few minutes so the pretzel bun is not overly hard and crunchy. You want a pretzel texture after all: crisp on the outside, warm and soft on the inside.
Assemble the Sandwich - Slice baguette lengthwise but not all the way through. Think of it as a mouth opening. Spread the mustard, then some beer cheese. Add some coleslaw to your taste. Add 2 slices of kielbasa, top with the potato salad, drizzle some more beer cheese on top, and HELLO BIG BERTHA. You are a sexy bitch.